walking worthy is a staple of my spiritual diet. self-evaluation is dark chocolate.

one teaching method that has always hit home for me...self-evaluation.

sometimes i forget the importance of it, and forget to take spiritual stock of where i'm at. probably because of the slight painful, piercing effect. haha.

if this happens to you too, a quick, friendly reality check from Philippians 4:8-9...one of those awana kid passages I could quote in my sleep while working snack shack without wearing any socks.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

while I usually focus on verse 8…all those delicious things to think on, verse 9 has been challenging me. paul was modeling exactly what he wanted his spiritual babies to do.

am I doing that?


as a mentor, leader, servant and friend, am I able to say: “what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice those things.” woah.
simple, sweet, and hard as heck.

but it’s what I need, and what He wants.

kasa no hone. (the umbrella's bones)

The ribs of the umbrella have fallen apart.

The paper is also torn,

But with bamboo tied together.

Do not throw it away.

Though I also am torn, don't desert me.

it's an anathallo sort of day.
connor park shout-out.

"I've already run for dear life straight to the arms of God."

Sometimes, I just feel overwhelmed. And worried.

Like maybe I know less about God than I felt I did three years ago.
Maybe my memory passages need some polishing. (ok, a lot more than just some.)
Maybe I couldn't really defend what I believe about every theological nuance when it comes right down do it. (oh...eschatology, you say? rats.)

But then I remember, that's the challenge. My new role as the Bride.
Perhaps the first step is accepting gracefilled life-change, then changing my life because of it.
And I have the rest of my 70 appointed years to spend figuring it out.

The farther I dig,
The deeper I dive,
The less I seem to know You,
but the more I want to.

From Romans 11
"Is there anyone around who can explain God?
Anyone smart enough to tell Him what to do?
Anyone who has done Him such a huge favor that God has to ask him advice?

Everything comes from Him;
Everything happens through Him;
Everything ends up in Him.
Always glory! Always praise!
Yes. Yes. Yes."

(By the way, I'm rediscovering the Message, and I sort of love it.)

that question.

how do i "judge all things," and not create hostility?
how do we maintain love through conflict?
not just saying, "i love you, but..."
emanate it.


that's what i want.

["and i think that i too have the spirit of the lord." (haha. love that pauline humor.)]

charm can lie.
beauty can vanish.

Paradoxes of the Christian faith.

1) that by death comes life.
2) by spending our lives we keep them.
3) through service comes greatness.

Man, I love Jesus.

the ministry of life.

such is the confidence we have through Christ toward God.
not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us,
but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit.
For the letter kills, but the spirit gives life.
II Cor. 3:4-6

What would it look like if every moment I operated in the knowledge of my total dependency on God? and His sufficiency?
What would it look like if I really understood, believed, and practiced the knowledge that nothing good in me comes from myself, but from the eternal Good, and his ministers of reconciliation who put it there?
What would it look like if I always operated in my role as a competent minister of the new covenant?

spirit. life.